Why commuting rocks

It's the wildlife you see. I love commuting because I get to overhear exchanges like this:

Young man bearing a striking resemblance to Bill Gates only not so much with the money. And with very little awareness of how loudly he is speaking: (to the large man who has just sat down next to him on the train) Excuse me sir. Can I ask you a question?

Innocent man minding his own business: OK.

Bill Gates Jr: I just moved down here from Montreal and I'm trying to get some sense of the culture down here you see. And what I want to know is this: how do I keep the Christians from coming around and ringing my doorbell at the crack of noon on a Sunday?

Innocent bystander: ???!!!!

Porpoise: (silently to herself from her seat across the aisle) What the F$%^&* kind of question is that to ask in a city that is home to this? With a congregation of a mere 23,000+ people? Dude, you're not as smart as the guy you look like...

The conversation continued on in this vein for a while, with my Canadian friend (who quite honestly seemed like he just wanted someone to talk to) got more and more heated about "the Christians". Finally his seatmate more or less told him to shut up, and things got much less entertaining from there on. The topper was when I caught the eye of the guy sitting across from me, and we shared a grin at the antics across the aisle. He then leaned forward:

Seatmate: Are you in college?

Porpoise: (clutching orange backpack and thinking hunh?) No!

I choose to believe he asked because he was convinced I was a hot young thing on her way to class at UH. And not because of the potentially high number of "non-traditional" students they might or might not have. Because we all know I don't look 35, and married with two terrors, I mean kids.

The crowning glory of the commuting entertainment was the next morning, I was sitting at the bus stop, reading and being enlightened by Steve Inskeep, when a small Asian woman approached me.

SAW: Excuse me...

Porpoise: (removing headphones and looking quizzical)?

SAW: I know you're reading but...(proffers pamphlet)

P: (looks at cover, notices "The Watchtower" in large letters) No thank you, I'm not interested.

SAW: Thank you (scurries away with her compatriot).

One day it's the Canadian atheist offending 99% (an estimate only) of the passengers on the train, then next it's the Jehovah's Witnesses. Never a dull moment I tell you.