The list of useful knitting tools I have uncovered in the last 45 minutes of searching:

One pair of scissors,
A row counter,
Two tape measures,
Two darning needles (one gargantuan, one actual useful size),
Two wooden cable needles,
Four stitch holders of varying sizes,
One hundred gazillion stitch markers,
Three crochet hooks (sizes huge, huger and 5.50 mm),
More stitch markers,
One set of dpns (size 0),
and three dpns of unknown size in a lovely violet shade.

What I have not found:

One size 3.25 mm (or smaller) crochet hook so I can do my fraking steeks.

I do have a small crochet hook, but it's a size 1.00mm for placing beads. Two ply Palette will completely overwhelm it.

Tomorrow's mission, should I choose to accept it: Find.A.Damn.Crochet.Hook. Any suggestions?